Follow these guidelines to make lasting love and a great marriage part of your future.

1. Recognize the need for change. Take the RV OATH (or write your own). Realize that what you’re doing and what you’ve done hasn’t gotten you any closer to a solid marriage and you must change your tactics. You have to agree that change is necessary and be willing to make those changes, or this plan won’t work.

2. Look in new places to meet singles. If you’ve had a string of go-nowhere or short-term relationships, then you must find different ways to meet your dates. Let emotionally healthy and married friends know you are serious about marriage and looking for compatible dates. Try Internet match-up sites, dating services, and recreational or social organizations. Do NOT go to bars or nightclubs.

3. Interview your dates. After you determine that your date makes you pant with desire, let that go. Ignore it. Concentrate instead on what’s on the inside. Get to know your date’s personality, learn about what makes him or her tick, and why they are great despite how they make you feel.

4. Stop having sex! Sex distracts from your goal of finding a good partner. Never engage in sex acts, mutual pleasure, intense making out or foreplay while dating because it takes away from forming a friendship. Instead of time spent beneath the sheets, you can use the hours to form a good relationship, and determine if he or she is “the one.” A good rule of thumb is to never touch each other below the waist. That way no one gets the wrong idea.

5. Date exclusively for 1 or 2 years. Once you’ve found that special someone, date for at least a year before you get engaged. It takes that long (and sometimes longer) to form an intimate relationship and to assure yourself, your friends, and your family that you've picked a winner. Red flags will show up in the first year or two, so be on guard.

General guideline: People under 30 years old should date as an "exclusive" couple for 2 years before marriage, and those over 30 years old should date as an "exclusive" couple for 1 year before marriage.

6. No religions or politics here. You don't have to be religious to take the Reborn Virgin® oath. Many people erroneously tie religion and abstinence, but sexual abstinence while dating just good advice for finding an ideal mate.

7. Don't allow nay-sayers to spoil your life. Don't allow anyone to tell you that waiting for sex until marriage is old-fashioned, weird, anti-feminist, unmanly, or anything else negative. Taking an oath of abstinence before marriage is the smart way to find that lasting love you deserve.

8. You CAN become a virgin again. Don't allow ANYONE to tell you differently. It's a necessary mindset that gives you better odds of success than simply giving up sex alone. With a new name for yourself as a Reborn Virgin®, you get a fresh start on your journey to find that someone special. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

9. You are not alone. Thousands upon thousands of men and women are practicing premarital abstinence. If your current friends scoff at abstinence, then it might be time to open your horizons and find other friends and people to date. Find people who desire more out of life than the status quo.

10. Women, you can still be a feminist warrior. Equal rights has nothing to do with bed-hopping. Real feminists are intelligent women who don't sleep with every guy they meet to prove they are equal to men. Real feminists promote equal rights by making their own decisions and living their own lives.

Men, you can still be a man. Manly behavior has nothing to do with how many sex partners you have, how often you have sex, or what sex acts you've done. Real men know what makes them manly, and it's not based on locker room tales.

FINALLY: You can and will succeed. You're not out there chasing down a person to "make" him or her love you, or get him or her into bed. You're out there developing your own talents and interests. You become a much more vital and interesting person and you’ll attract much more vital and interesting people. Like attracts like.

Take care of your own needs, interview your dates, and abstain from sex with your dates, and your dreams of lasting love will come true.

You must have the courage to say these two small words the next time someone wants you to hop in bed with them: "no, thanks."